fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
