Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
we made out on top of his cat.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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