I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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