that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
