I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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