is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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