Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
