It's Friday. Sex?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
