I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
