I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
