i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
