after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
