Yo dont text me then not text me
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
