OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Randomize
