Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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