ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
whose parrot is this?
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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