I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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