you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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