Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
