she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
