We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize