I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize