You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
You've changed since you got that strap on
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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