dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
