It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
