STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
