If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
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