When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
