you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
