she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
