This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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