Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
