I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
