i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
