He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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