If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
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