how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Randomize
