dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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