At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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