Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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