she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Less talking, more tequila
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize