Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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