i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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