she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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