She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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