How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
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No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
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We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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