Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
His nipple licking is glorious
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