I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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