apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Are my feet made of real feet?
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
