he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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