his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just invented taco cereal.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
