I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
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I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
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BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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