Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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