Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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