She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
