I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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