Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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