spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
The beer is more important than you right now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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