then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
